Standing at the crossroads?


The real gap – the gap between our expectations about the world and how we really experience it that causes modern ‘neurasthenia’.  Our anxiousness comes from standing in the middle of a decision.  The real key is to live in an environment where the mind feels free to choose the right thing instead of being compelled by habit and inertia to choose the wrong thing.   — Deepak Chopra*

For much of my adult life, I have felt that I am standing at the crossroads.  I have a choice to make on which way to go, and I don’t know which the best way.  Indecision was normal. 

This caused me to live with a heightened level of anxiety.  Questions frequently plagued me:

  • Would I make the right choice?
  • Would I offend someone if I chose this particular path?
  • Would I regret this decision?
  • Is this option safe?

This was not healthy.  This was not living.  This was not maturity.

Over the past few months, I have grown more comfortable with whom I am.  Through mindfulness and simplicity, I have built an environment where my mind feels free to choose the right thing.  Granted, I am not perfect.  I make mistakes (and I have made some big ones!), but I am confident that I will be able to handle the mistakes and rebound and grow through them.

This blog and my relationships have helped me focus on that which matters.  It is not that I get it right every time, but that I respond to the uncertainties in life with resolve, commitment, and compassion.

When I am so caught up in the questions above and indecision as the normal modus operandi, I hinder living to the fullest.

Merriam-Webster defines neurathansia as a psychological disorder marked especially by easy fatigability and often by lack of motivation, feelings of inadequacy.  When we are indecisive, we can walk around in a state of “emotional” or “engagement” fatigue, unmotivated and feeling inadequate.  It is continuously standing in the crossroad and wondering what to do?  This is not living to the fullest.

I suggest another approach.  It is a matter of developing confidence.  Confidence in yourself and what you believe is right – discovering what is truth in a situation.  Confidence in the future.  Confidence that one’s destiny is secure.

First study the truth.  I believe that God’s Word is TRUTH and that it can be found in the Bible.  Thus, I make it a point to read, study, and meditate on God’s Word each day.  It points us to what is right.

Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, THINK ABOUT SUCH THINGS.  Phil 4:8

Second, make small positive decisions each day.  Start it in the morning.  For example, make the first decision each day positive: I will awaken and be thankful first thing.  Be thankful for that which matters right away:  good health, breath, a beating heart, a roof over your head, etc, etc.

Third, remember the successes you have had in life.  They will motivate you.  This is something that we do not do a good job with in our society – remembering the success and positive decisions of our past.  Modern media infiltrates our minds with the new and exciting and keeps us from reflecting on the good and wholesome that already exists in our lives.  We need to frequently cut off the incessant noise the world bombards at us to allow us to hear ourselves – to give ourselves space to remember the good in our world.  To see our success, build confidence and then step out and make good decisions.

Fourth, surround yourself with good, faithful people.  They will help you build confidence.  Good friends will build you up and not bring you down.  They will keep things real so you don’t drift off into fantasy land, but they will also help you become your best.

What can you do today to be more decisive and move forward with living?

*Although I am no big fan of Deepak Chopra’s teachings in spirituality, I do agree with this particular quote.

Blessings to you and your family throughout 2015.  Please drop me an email if you would like to suggest any topics for me to cover during the year or if you would like to submit a guest post.

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About John Forrest